My son just turned two and a half years old. Recently, when I read books to him he points to a boy and says "brother like me", and points to a girl and says "sister like [Destiny]" no matter the race of the children. He will point to a black boy and say, "brother like me", and point to a white girl and say "sister like [Destiny]" even if they are in the same picture side by side. I do not know if it is the same with all two and a half year olds, but clearly he identifies more with his and his sister's gender than he does his and his sister's race at this time.
What prompted me to share this is an example that further proved this to be true. This morning he asked me to read him a book that had a picture of two babies on the back. They seem to be right about the same age, about one year old, but one was white and blonde, like my son, and one was black, like my daughter. Both were in diapers and gender wasn't easily identified. He studied the picture for a moment. I knew he was trying to decide which was "brother like [him]" and which was "sister like [Destiny]". He had a short struggle. I thought it was mostly due to the races of the babies. The baby who was white and blonde looked more like a girl and the baby who was black looked more like a boy. However, the black baby had the same round face and same length hair as my daughter. I was sure he'd pick that baby as being "sister like [Destiny]". I was wrong on both accounts.
He chose the black baby who looked very similar to my daughter, but had more male features than the white baby in the picture, as being "brother like me", and he chose the white baby with blonde hair who seemed to have more female features as "sister like [Destiny]". Then I realized that his moment of thought was not about the race of the babies. It was about the gender. He was trying to decided which baby was male and which was female. As usual, race wasn't even a consideration.
Brought to mind a well known Bible verse: "And verily I say unto you, Except ye... become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:3.
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